Q: Are you really running for president?
A: No. I'm on the list of candidates but I'm not raising any money.
Q: Why are you running then?
A: Because JD said that shit about the Haitians. I registered immediately on Nov. 6. This is not 1930 and he's not in the Rhineland with his lollypop.
Q: Why set it up like this, as a list of policies?
A: Because people said they didn't know what Kamala Harris's policies were. They didn't know what she would do on Day 1. On Day 1 I would tour the White House, I haven't been there.
Q: Is it true that you sued the guy who edited Hillbilly Elegy to include the pages with descriptions of JD fucking a couch?
A: Yes, and he didn't even say thank you.